CHRISTMAS AND A WRETCH LIKE ME

Greetings in the Powerful Name of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ!

I am so glad to be writing to you during this wonderful, joy-filled season. I love Christmas because of what it means to me.

As a child, I was so excited to see what presents I would receive. Sometimes, the gift was so large it wouldn't fit under the tree! One year, the doorbell rang on Christmas morning and a huge (to my young eyes) box was sitting on the doorstep with my name on it. Of course, it was supposedly Santa who delivered it. I opened the box to find a beautiful, shiny black rocking chair, just my size! I didn't really believe Santa Claus was real at that time, but I went along with the narrative. Jingle bells were even ringing in the background as Santa "rode off in his sleigh". 

It was all fun and exciting and a nice break from the private stressors in my mind and heart. I was a very unhappy little girl. I say private because I lived in my own little world. I did not really share my pain and fears with anyone. Nightmares visited me regularly and I always lived with a sense of shame that I was unable to identify. 

Throughout my early years, the many abuses I experienced took a toll on me until that shame and self-despising caused a state of lifelessness to engulf me. Again, I was in my own little world.

So, what does the title of this blog post have to do with the aforementioned you say? Well, "a Wretch like me" was my reality. 

"Amazing Grace, How Sweet the Sound that Saved a Wretch Like Me." This "Wretch" one day came to the realization that she had been given the most incredible "Gift" imaginable! Christmas took on an entirely new meaning. Yes, it was still about receiving a Gift. That Gift came in the package of "God became man" in the form of His Son, Jesus Christ, who was born, grew up, died an unthinkable, horrible, totally underserved death on a cruel cross, was buried in a tomb and rose from that tomb three days later and after disarming all opposing principalities and powers sat down at the right hand of His Father God Almighty in Heaven and tore apart any barrier that kept me separated from Eternal Life! 

The "Wretch Like Me" had a difficult time taking hold of that astounding "Gift". The one Gift of all gifts I should have grabbed hold of with all my might, I looked at with fear and trepidation. Guilt and Shame tried to tell me I was unacceptable to receive this Gift. However, "Something got ahold of me" and persuaded me to reach out and "take ahold" of that Gift.

When I reached out, by the enablement of the Holy Spirit, and accepted, Amazing Grace took over the Guilt and Shame of Sin and saved a Wretch Like Me. 

Now, Christmas, for me, is all year and a lifelong experience of opening gift after gift that he gives to me through the continuing generosity of His Holy Spirit through relationship with the Christ of Christmas, the Word and my Heavenly Father. Those gifts include love, peace and joy within.

I pray that you have a Merry "Christ"mas and that you embrace the reality that without the confession that we all, due to sin, have the definition of, "A Wretch", are not completely able to receive the fullness of the "Amazing Grace" by which we were and are saved. Ephesians 2:8&9, "For by Grace you have been saved through Faith and that not of yourselves (you can't earn it) lest any man should boast."

God Bless you as you receive Gift after Gift until the Gift of His Returning transfers from Faith to Sight!

WAITING

One of the hardest things to do is wait. However, waiting takes up a huge amount of our time and effort. I would like to share a couple of experiences with you. Throughout my walk with the Lord, some people have said I pray for unusual things. Years ago, when my girls were quite young, we went camping on the back side (opposite of Portland) of Mt Hood in Oregon. It was a remote spot with none of what we all call the "creature comforts". We were using our van as opposed to a tent. I was really excited about the possibility of seeing a bear out the window during the night. I remember the van being shaken in the early morning hours. However, I was so cold I did not want to raise up out of my sleeping bag and take a look. Low and behold, the next morning there were all kinds of animal tracks, including bear, around the van. My loss! God answered my request, but I let my comfort keep me from receiving my blessing. Just recently, I had some sweet little birds build a nest inside a birdhouse that is a short distance from our front door. We can watch the parent birds as they fly in and out feeding their young. If we were sitting very still at the patio table, they would do their duties as we enjoyed the show. Again, I prayed for a special blessing. I wanted to see the young fly out of the nest. Sure enough, I was taking a nap right inside the door one day and something hit it and woke me up. I almost went back to sleep but instead made the effort to get up and look through the glass. A baby bird had tried to fly and in fact, flew into the door. It was stunned a bit but continued its attempts and flew from ground to chair, then chair to table and finally off to the trees with mom. I continued to watch the house when finally, a second little one appeared and gradually flew to back of chair then to table and off to the trees. If I had gone back to sleep, I would again have missed the answer to a special request.

Waiting on the Lord is, in a way, similar to my two experiences. Isaiah 40:31 is a favorite to many Christians: "But those who wait for the Lord--who expect, look for and hope in Him--shall change and renew their strength and power; they shall lift their wings and mount up (close to God) as eagles [mount up to the sun]; they shall run and not be weary; they shall walk and not faint or become tired." That is from the Amplified Bible.

Waiting is an action word. It is the opposite of being passive. We are anticipating something. Sometimes it takes a long time to receive the object of our expectation. "Hope deferred makes the heart sick but when the desire comes, it is a tree of life." Proverbs 13:12

When we are young, we can't wait to grow up. We wait to get married. We wait to have children. We wait to buy a house. We wait for the computer to load. We wait in line at the grocery store, the gas station, the stoplight... wait, wait, wait. Life is full of waiting. However, the most fulfilling "waiting" is, actively waiting on the Lord.

As we wait on the Lord, keeping the eyes of our heart on him, seeking him through worship, prayer and the Word, waiting becomes a thing of life. We can almost feel the very breath of God and almost see the look of love and encouragement on his face as he cheers us on and strengthens and comforts us with the words implanted deep in our spirits, "Hold on my Child! Joy comes in the morning". As the Psalmist said, "Wait for the Lord, be strong and let your heart take courage, wait for the Lord!" 

2 Peter 3:4 tell us what the enemy of our soul throws at us: "Where is this coming he promised?" In verse 9 and 10 of the same chapter we have this: "The Lord is not slow to fulfill his promise as some count slowness, but is patient toward you, not wishing that any should perish, but that all should reach repentance. But the day of the Lord WILL come like a thief, and then the heavens will pass away with a roar, and the heavenly bodies will be burned up and dissolved, and the earth and works that are done on it will be exposed." Peter goes on to say we need to live holy lives, waiting and hastening his coming. Waiting for new heavens and a new earth full of righteousness. All these things are true!

Don't allow yourselves to become discouraged, disappointed, depressed, hopeless, helpless or despondent. Encourage one another as a runner alongside the other to keep running. Keep focusing on the Goal and in the meantime, as Isaiah encourages, exchange your strength for Christ's because in our weakness, He is made strong.

We can and we will receive the answers to our prayers, "Even so come quickly, Lord Jesus." Whether we go to be with him or meet him in the air, it will happen. Any other "waiting"; placing our attention, efforts, devotion or hopes on any "gods" of the things of this world or of Satan will only bring results of suffering and death.

"Awake, O sleeper, and arise from the dead and Christ will shine on you." Ephesians 5:14. We are also encouraged in that chapter to "be filled with the Spirit" and to encourage one another.

I love how the Lord speaks through everyday life experiences, like wanting to see a bear, or see a fledgling fly. The lesson may be, pray about everything, expect the answer; "know" that He loves you and is trustworthy and that He does not lie, but keeps His promises. The rest is to walk in His love while you are waiting; practice His presence by getting to know him "more deeply and intimately" as the apostle Paul desired (Philippians 3:10) and "love one another deeply". Be an active "waiter" and Peter seems to indicate we can hasten that day by living holy and godly lives. I like to use a capital "G" as we allow His Righteousness to fill us. If we are spreading the Good News of the Gospel in our own "world" of influence, we will not have time to become impatient as we "wait"! 

Waiting with love along with you, Brothers and Sisters!

Smiling through the Thunder

 "You wonder why I'm smiling through the thunder..." This is a line from a song written by Dottie Rambo. I love the song because it is all about Jesus being our "Harbor in the time of Storm". I like it when people notice the "Life" in me and I can come back with the answer... "It is the Joy of the Lord!"

There was a time many years ago that I did not have this Joy, or even a smile for that matter. A life of sin, abuse, criticism and self-loathing had taken its toll. I could almost feel the despair wrapped around me like a stifling straitjacket of bondage. At times it even felt as if I couldn't breathe. Whatever I did, wherever I went, it was as if I were being led along by some sort of invisible halter. I was numb. I was lifeless. Living or dying, it didn't matter. Nothing could wipe away the shame I felt from things that had been done to me and things I had done to myself and others. All I was doing was existing. I found nothing to fix the condition I was in. 

During this time of desperation there were people I had yet to meet and some I never would, who were praying for my salvation. I was unaware and the word salvation was not part of my vocabulary. Through a series of events, I was finally led to a simple altar at the front of a small church in the middle of the night. A pastor I had never met and a handful of relatives I hadn't seen in years were surrounding me with prayers and tears. Soon I was sobbing and with doubt in my mind because of my disgusting state of being, I dared ask the one I was told loved me, to please forgive me. 

That was the first step toward being filled to overflowing with the Spirit of Almighty God and having my life turned upside down by that same Spirt that raised Christ from the dead! Overwhelming Love flooded my soul and a Joy beyond comprehension arose within me and began to eradicate every ounce of guilt, shame and dirtiness. Oh, yes, there were times when I had tried to push all of this deep down inside and I walked in falsehood. However, my faithful Savior knew it all had to come to the surface and washed completely out of my heart and mind.

The day the reality of His love for me penetrated my inner being and shame, guilt and hatred of myself were replaced with "Joy Unspeakable and Full of Glory" no one could ever tell me again that I was not loved or that Jesus and what he did for me on the Cross was not real.

Now, my life glows with the reality of a changed life by the Power and Blood of Jesus Christ. It glows with the Joy that erupts with the truth that he is coming again to take me, his beautiful, cleansed, forgiven daughter to be with him where he is. The Hope of Eternity is Mine!

The problems of life did not leave me. I "smile through the thunder" because I am no longer being led along by the halter of my own sin, or of Satan, the enemy and hater of my soul. I am now being led by His unseen hand, always guiding my footsteps as the words to this same song proclaim. I am being led by the Spirit of the Living God and my Savior Jesus Christ. I have been brought out of the Kingdom of Darkness and transported into the Kingdom of Light.

His life within me creates a joy that cannot be hidden. It is a joy that strengthens me beyond measure. It is a joy that assures me that my future is secure in the Creator. It is a joy that I don't keep only for myself. It is a joy that I pray will always exude through me to others that they can take hold of what I have taken hold of and together we can await that thundering shout to be heard from the Lord himself and the voice of the Archangel and the trumpet call. He is returning!

Ephesians 2:1-5 "And you were dead in the trespasses and sins in which you once walked, following the course of this world, following the prince of the power of the air, the spirit that is now at work in the sons of disobedience among whom we all once lived in the passions of our flesh, carrying out the desires of the body and the mind and were by nature children of wrath, like the rest of mankind. But God, being rich in mercy, because of the great love with which he loved us, even when we were dead in our trespasses, made us alive together with Christ--by grace you have been saved."

If you have never experienced this joy... seek and you shall find HIM. If you have experienced it, never forget your first love experience. Never let the light of your joy fade. People are dying physically and spiritually from lack of hope. Let them be drawn to Christ through the Joy in your life today.

Thank you for letting me, through this epistle, share a portion of my testimony with you. May God richly bless you with his Joy today and always!

LOVE DEEPLY

 Some of you have made it known to me recently that you have been missing my writings. I so appreciate that. It seems the months of December and January have been so busy with one thing or another. I would imagine yours have been the same. However, I do feel the urging to write to you before the month is up. It is a new year with new adventures and new challenges. I am thankful that we have one another, those of the Body of Christ, to walk hand in hand through this journey. If you are reading this and are not part of the Body, born into the Family of God, John 1:12 & 13 is for you: "But to all who did receive him (Jesus), who believed in his name, he gave the right to become children of God, who were born, not of blood nor of the will of the flesh nor of the will of man, but of God." Receive Jesus as your Savior and you, as well, can belong to the Family.

Therefore, speaking of the Family of God, what kind of children should we be. How should we relate to one another? I have been pondering this. 1 Peter 1:22 & 23 tells us to love one another deeply. Earnestly is another word. Since Christ loved us and we received that love and became Born Again, our love can be pure and sincere. 

Jesus's prayer in John chapter 17 was that we become one as He and the Father are one. When you are one, that means "one". There is not in between space in which to bring division. One is one. That is how the Godhead want us to be with them and with one another. 

So, to explain as I see it: Being one means you do not allow anything to separate or destroy the oneness. And to love deeply and earnestly and purely in that context, there is no room for anything but Godly love.

As we walk in the kind of love that is expected of us, we want only good for the other. We laugh with one another during times of joy. We cry with one another during times of pain and grieving. Selfishness has no place. Jealousy has no place. Envy has no place. Backbiting or gossiping has no place. Even our own insecurities have no place. Love is pure.

Look at a ball for instance. It is one. As it is, there is no space, no opening, no access for anything to enter. In its pure form, so to speak, it is "one". To destroy its oneness takes effort. Depending upon the thickness of the ball, it becomes harder and harder to penetrate. A small straight pin can penetrate a round bubble for instance. The thicker the ball, you might need a large nail with some force behind it to break through.

We know according to John 10:10, "The thief comes to steal, kill and destroy. (Jesus said) I came that they may have life and have it abundantly". The thief is that pin or that nail. Once, it penetrates, the life goes out. The enemy of our souls, Satan, the devil, wants to destroy our oneness.

Unity, oneness in the Body of Christ, is crucial for our life and purpose. Jesus is one with the Father. We are one with the Father and the Son by the life of their Spirit, the Holy Spirit within us. When we get married, we become one with our wife or husband. Physical families become a strong unit.

Everything flows to and from relationship. As we are in close relationship with our Heavenly Father and Jesus on a daily basis, our bond becomes stronger and stronger. As we walk closely with one another in a deep and sincere love, the bonds are strengthened and secured. It is a daily growth. The Bible calls it "from glory to glory". We are being changed from the inside out through relationship. 

I spoke earlier of the "purpose" for our Unity. Again, in Jesus's prayer, John chapter 17 verse 23, He prayed that we would be perfectly one. Why? So that the world would see that God really did send His Son Jesus and that God did, in fact, "so love the world" (John 3:16) even as much as he loved his own Son. That is more love than most of us can imagine.

So, until we all become one, which can only be done through the help of the Holy Spirit, the world will not see us as any different than themselves. They are slaves to sin. We are set free from sin. They do not know how to walk out of anger, bitterness, hatred, unforgiveness, jealousy, envy, lying, cheating, etc. We know that through the Spirit of Christ Jesus, we have the strength and ability to not allow those things to enter our lives. We have taken hold of forgiveness of our sins and can now forgive others and walk in love, real love, deep, intimate, caring, unselfish love for our brothers and sisters in Christ. The more we practice His Presence in our lives through prayer, praise, worship, reading the Word of God (the Bible) and fellowship, we will grow and those walls of love, those bonds will become thicker and harder for the enemy to penetrate.

In these last days, we need to make all effort to show the world the true love of God that surpasses anything they can comprehend. It needs to be a love that convicts their hearts of their own actions. A love that draws them in by its kindness. A love that reaches out to envelope them in their pain. The world is hurting. 

Jesus is coming soon to receive those who are looking for him, who are ready. The word says that the world will hate you. Yes, it will hate you but there are those who will be drawn out of the world and that hate they experience will turn to love as they respond to the love of Christ through you.

So, my prayer for us all is that we will get rid of anything and everything that prevents us from allowing the prayer of Jesus himself in John 17 to be answered in our lives. 

Lastly, John 17:26: "I, Jesus, made known to them your name, and I will continue to make it known, that the love with which you have loved me may be in them and I in them." We love Him because He first loved us... let us love one another. 

Love in Christ Jesus,

BarbaraJean